The Letter

Recently, a TikTok filter that makes you look like your teenage self went viral. It left many users in tears as they looked back at a younger image of themself and their memories, good, bad and otherwise, instantly flooded back. I’m not going to lie, I did check the filter out. Although I didn’t end up posting anything, as I looked into my youthful eyes, it left me considering all of the things I know now that I wish I knew then. I had an atypical childhood in many ways and because of it, I was forced to grow up too fast. The stress of that coupled with all of the growing pains and hormones, was not healthy for me. I know there are young girls out there right now that feel that way too. This is for them and for the 13 year old me that struggled with self-confidence, got too caught up with appearance and material things, trends, drama, boys, fitting in, and rushed her youth away.

Dear Brandi,

You are beautiful. Your skin is the canvas that features the sum of all your parts. A walking work of art. Your body is the perfect shape and size, for you. You are the perfect height, for you. Your hair is the perfect shade, texture and color, for you. The perfect length and style is something you can discover over time. The best part is, it grows. Your eye color may be similar to someone else but they don’t see with the same lens that you do. What is pleasing to one eye may not be pleasing to another. Your nose suits your face and your ears, well they are the most unique because they are fully formed at birth. Everyone’s are. Your freckles will be something high fashion models wish for and some day women everywhere will even use makeup to draw them on. Yours are natural. Own them. Your smile is your signature. Show your teeth. Your laugh is infectious and laughter is vital for stress relief, so do it, often. People are naturally drawn to authenticity and confidence. Get comfortable in your vessel. Take care of it. Cherish it. Be kind to it.

You don’t need to impress anyone. If someone doesn’t “like” you, who cares. There are over 7 Billion people in the world. You will find people to connect with. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you, except for you. Compare yourself to no one, except the you from yesterday.

Don’t be ashamed. The house you live in, the clothes you wear, the food on your table, (or lack thereof) it’s all temporary. Where you are now isn’t where you are going. Someday you will have control over where you live, the clothes you wear and the food you put on your table. You have to work hard though. No one is going to give you what you want. You have to earn it. So stay humble. Stay in school. Stay focused. Oh and those subjects you suck at, you don’t really use them in everyday life so don’t beat yourself up. Here are the five things you will need to succeed at mostly everything; Know how to communicate. Know how to write. Know when to ask for help. Remember your manners and be respectful. Save your money. The evolution of technology will reach new heights in your lifetime. Get comfortable with using it. Those fashion trends you’re trying to keep up with, yeah they won’t last, but in 30 years from now they will make a comeback and you will get to participate in that movement. Just be patient. Unfortunately it will include the fanny pack.

Tell the truth. Lying is a disease. It multiplies and takes over until your entire identity is a mystery. Your credibility is shot. You don’t know who you are anymore. Even the you you didn’t like has disappeared and what is left is just a made up version of you. Being someone who is trustworthy is attractive. Living in your truth is the only way you can relate to others in the most basic way. The foundation of any relationship built on lies is insecure. Stand in your truth. Embrace it. All of your scars, your insecurities, your bad memories, missed opportunities, your challenges. The truth is: you can help people with your hurts. You will come out the other end and what is left, well that is called hope. You can give that hope to others who are currently in the same situation that you lived. Someone will need you and all your past experiences. They will benefit from your hardships in the best way possible. You were made to inspire.

You are loved. Even if you don’t feel loved by the people who should be showing you and telling you, you are. Give others an opportunity to show you their love. Don’t hide behind bashfulness or dishonesty. Don’t let others speak for you. Let your truth speak for you. Open your heart and let it receive love. But don’t give your love away too easily. Select only those who prove their worth. You will make mistakes with love. You will think you know what love is when someone compliments you or gives you a gift. You may even be deceived by a touch or a kiss. Do not be fooled. Bad intentions are everywhere. I know, I know, how else are you going to decipher what is love and what isn’t? You have to fall. You have to make mistakes. When you do, remember, life goes on. You will get through this time. You will learn and grow, and the days will put distance in between when you thought your life was over and when you realized that you can start over again.

Set goals and write them down. Know in your mind where it is you want to go and act like you’re already there. Every day is a new day. Start it with intention and take a step toward those goals. Be 1% better every day and over time it will add up. It’s the little things. Celebrate those little wins. You can do anything with a plan, but remember plans don’t always work out exactly as we intended. Don’t let that deter you. Start by deciding what your treasure is and then draw the map. X marks the spot. If the spot changes, move the X. Oh and hey… you are a treasure.

You won’t be good at everything. Most people aren’t. However, you do have gifts. Once you figure out what those gifts are, do more of that. It could be a hobby, a talent or just a certain intuition you were born with. Use your gifts and use them for good. There is only one you and the world needs you. Your contribution is necessary and vital to the lives you have yet to touch. You can’t see beyond today, but your story has just begun. There is a world beyond your little town, your little school, your little house. You can’t even begin to imagine the excitement that awaits you. The experiences and the people you have yet to meet will change the trajectory of your life, multiple times. Just go with the flow.

Be kind; To yourself and others. Everyone has a story. Everyone is going through something. What you see on the outside, isn’t always representative of what is going on, on the inside. Recognize when someone might need a hug. Know when you need one too and find someone who will hug you. Like really hug you.

Life is lemons, but you’ve got leather in you, babe. Don’t. Ever. Quit. Your future self is waiting.

Love Yourself.